Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships, whether with family, friends, or a dating partner, are central to our happiness. Knowing which relationships to nurture and which relationships to let go of is a crucial life skill. A healthy relationship is encouraging, loving, supportive, a2vwnd built on trust and equity. Check out the resources below to learn about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like, and how to be a loving friend and partner.

Bystander Intervention

Direct: Speak up! Stay calm, be respectful and clear with your words. Directly confront a situation where someone is being harmed or is at risk of being harmed. Ask if everything is all right or state being uncomfortable with the situation.

• “Are you ok? Let’s call someone for you.”
• “They look drunk, I don’t think that is a good idea.”
• “You need to leave them alone.”

Distract: Take an indirect approach to engage with the harasser and give the victim the opportunity to leave or get help. Your goal is to interrupt the behavior, not necessarily confronting it in the moment.

• Pretend to know the person and start a conversation.
• Hey, I like your___. Where did you get that?

Delegate: Have a plan before you head out so if/when something happens, you know who is doing what. Look for people to back you up when it is time to intervene. This also helps create a shared sense of responsibility among community members.

Delay: Don’t forget, you can “delay” either party. When you are talking to the victim, let them make as many decisions as possible, you’re there to help. Ask:

• “Are you OK?”
• “Who can I call?”
• “Do you need a ride?”
• “What can I get you?”

Intervention from a bystander sends a powerful message about what is acceptable and expected behavior within a community. Any bystander can play an active role in preventing further harm directed toward another by employing one or more of the strategies above. Want to learn more? Reach out to your on-campus sexual prevention program or a trusted adult.

Men and Boys

When we talk about sexual violence, it is girls and women who most often come to mind. However sexual violence is a crime of power and control that can happen to, and be perpetrated by, anyone. One in six men have been sexually abused or assaulted, and 91-99% of sex offenders are men. To end sexual violence, boys and men must take the lead in redefining masculinity, uplifting gender equity, and holding other boys and men accountable for sexist jokes and sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive behaviors towards their dating partners. In a world where toxic masculinity is praised and encouraged, being an advocate for ending sexual violence can be challenging. We need you. Because as Tony Porter stated: “If women could end violence against women and girls by themselves, they would have done it already”.

Speaking Up and Out

Sexual violence prevention means stopping the behavior before it ever starts. In other words, preventing people from assaulting others in the first place. An active bystander is someone who is able to identify offensive comments and behaviors and safely interrupt the behavior in order to decrease the likelihood of a dangerous or harmful situation. This can range from not laughing at a sexist joke, to calling someone out for committing sexual assault. Speaking up & out is a vital piece to preventing sexual assault. Knowing how to do it in a way that feels safe and effective, however, can be difficult.

Get Involved

We cannot end sexual violence without leadership from today’s youth. Your voice and your experiences and ideas are valued and necessary to provide both validation and support for survivors and to dismantle rape culture which uplifts toxic masculinity, the oppression of women and girls, and victim-blaming. From awareness campaigns to school clubs and peer education, there are many opportunities for you to get involved.